Engagement, Not Perfection

A client once told me, "You seem like a good father." It was an offhand remark, but it got me thinking. I'm only a good father because I show up every day. If I vanished tomorrow, that label wouldn’t apply anymore. Fatherhood isn’t an identity; it’s a practice—like brushing your teeth.

Engagement is everything. Whether it’s training, nutrition, or anything worthwhile, consistency beats motivation. Some days you won’t feel like it. That’s fine. Do it anyway.

The key is designing systems that keep you engaged. A simple step target on your phone keeps movement front and center. Gamification works too—Jerry Seinfeld crossed off days on a calendar to maintain his writing streak. You can do the same for your workouts. The goal? Never break the chain.

But engagement requires bandwidth. Most people are drowning in distractions—social media, news, endless commitments. Cut the noise. Focus is a superpower.

In 4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, Oliver Burkeman flips modern productivity on its head: do less, but do it well. Chasing infinite tasks is a trap. True mastery comes from depth, not breadth.

Starting something new is hard because it consumes energy. Learning to track food feels tedious at first, but over time, it becomes automatic. Mastery is just patience compounded.

And yes, you will fall off track. That’s inevitable. The key is simple: don’t judge, don’t dwell—just return to the process. Like meditation, the practice isn’t about never drifting. It’s about always coming back.